I made a very concious decision earlier last week, alot of thoughts led me here to the final conclusion. Find more work! I’d tossed over what would suit me, a woman in her late 40’s, one who seemed at her best when helping others, usually ahead of her own needs. I’ve been happy to promote people who are talented, they are what makes the world an ineresting place to live in and they deserve to be recognised.
The internet became my stargate to another world, i stepped through the stream and have empowered myself by learning the technology I once feared and condemned.
I’m a late bloomer-always have been. As a child, the youngest of 2 girls, I always felt as if I walked in my sister’s shadow. She was pretty, tall and seemed older than girls her own age. Or perhaps it was because I was actually short, plain & immature.Not pretty, maybe ‘cute’, but I am saying this as an adult’s perspective, and that of a mother’s point of view.
The ‘little’ Debbie was very shy & awkward. She had a lovely way of making others smile, and mostly had thoughts most her age could not relate to. Even though she liked school, it could have served her better had she been more confident. She was a dreamer, wanting nothing but love, and for the world to be loved! Not able to express her ideas, her inner thoughts verbally, writing would become her voice, her comrade, her fortress!
Poetry, short tales of fantasy piled amongst letters-There was never any particular receiver,she never really addressed it to any person, it was written for the universe-
It was for God, because she always believed whatever shape or form, he existed, and would take the time to listen to her heart.
It was for each hero,those imaginary souls deeply vested within dreams of ‘love’, who would someday arrive to whisk her away to another enchanted place.
They too existed, as a part of each written doctrine. They had to, she would continue to rely upon this ideal for many years to follow, through her stories & then applying to life.
Fantasy she’d create with Little Debbie was unknowingly & innocently devising a fate filled with a great deal of fallicy, but from each failure, a lesson. These lessons would toughen her skin, but never harden her heart. So all these years later, older Debbie, wiser by age and experience, shuffles through the pages on Google…..”What do I want to do now?”
Having achieved goals she once shied away from, each new quest had a definite hint of determination and though she was still confronted with opposition and negative human natures,the hope to break down those horrible barriers clearly her desire!
So, what does an older Debbie do with so much hope????? Her job, is to write, and this is just a piece of the larger picture which someday, will all come together, with others flicking through the pages of Debbie’s work, finally realising her dreams and understanding her passions.